The Creepshow: A Novel Page 13

  Joy should have overwhelmed Wanda, convincing her that Max was in love with her, was in love with them. And that feeling tried to rush through her, but an even more powerful emotion violently blocked it: fear. Fear that Max was jumping in too quickly and would regret his decision.

  “Is everything OK?” Max continued. “I thought this would prove my feelings and commitment to both of you.”

  Wanda turned and walked toward the window, her hands to her head. Max followed close behind. She turned to face him, wanting to fall into his arms but instead taking a step back.

  “What is it, Wanda?” he insisted.

  She took a deep breath, and looked into his eyes and the confusion that had replaced the sparkle of only a few minutes ago.

  “I appreciate the effort, Max, and thank you for it, but I think we should have talked about it before you went ahead and declared paternity. Why didn’t you ask me?”

  “Wanda, that’s ridiculous! I’m the father so I have the right to declare myself as such.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way.” She shook her head in frustration. “I’m saying it’s an important step and right now isn’t the time.”

  “It is the time, Wanda,” he snapped. “Look around. If you don’t need me and can handle yourself so well, why are you living in this dump and eating takeout noodles every day? This isn’t any way to raise Nelly, even for a little while! Especially when you have a choice.”

  Wanda flew into a fury, her pride wounded by those words not because of their strength but because of their veracity. She would defend herself. She refused to believe he was right.

  “What do you know about raising a child, Max? How dare you try to assert control over us, over this situation!” She snatched the check from his hands and ripped it in two. “And that’s what I think of your money!”

  Max looked at her blankly, then shook his head.

  “Wanda,” he started to say. But she stared at him with an expression icier than even those she’d used when facing Louis.

  “No. Just leave.”

  “I can’t believe you. This is selfish. It’s become all about you and your pride rather than what really would be best for you and Nelly. How long are you going to push me away, Wanda?”

  “I don’t need you to look after us.” She was shaking with anger now—but not all of the anger was directed at Max. Much of it was directed at herself, for being so proud, so fearful, that she just might be pushing away everything she should cherish.

  Max stalked out the door and slammed it, shaking the whole apartment. Nelly woke with a moan that rose to a shrill cry, like a siren in the night.

  Chapter 30

  Registered mail had rarely brought good news in Wanda’s life. She remembered the time she was evicted from her off-campus apartment during college and received the letter explaining the development project. Then there was her father’s demotion as he reached the end of his career in education; a cold, simple envelope that he held for a long while, knowing what it contained.

  For Wanda, this registered letter was no exception. Even before she opened the envelope, her hands shook.

  It was a Whilt envelope, with the company logo embossed in the usual royal blue. Normally, she wouldn’t have been around to receive it, but instead of spending the day at the office, she was spending the day sick in bed. “Exhaustion, physical and mental,” the doctor had said, prescribing a cocktail of pills and ordering her to stay home for at least two days.

  Slowly, Wanda unsealed the envelope, unfolded the letter inside and scanned the page. Whilt was firing her. Her refusal to manage the new funds and her refusal to declare her finances meant she was not complying with company policy, and her fund performance was unsatisfactory. She was instructed not to return to the office. She would receive a box with her belongings in the coming days.

  Her stomach tied itself in knots as she read the letter, over and over, trying to figure out how the company could justify its position. She had simply asserted her legal rights, and Whilt was punishing her for that. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself, but surprisingly, she didn’t cry or feel sad. A strange sense of relief overcame Wanda as she dialed Lambert’s number. The harassment was over. No matter how difficult the next steps would be, at least she wouldn’t be facing Louis on a daily basis or sitting with the sword of Damocles over her head.

  Lambert advised her in his wise, steady voice, saying all was on track with the case and this new turn of events only added fuel to their fire. A second wave of relief washed over Wanda, but it would be short-lived.

  “Ms. Julienne,” he continued, “there will be one other change concerning your case, but it will not impact the proceedings or outcome in any way. I’m turning your case over to one of my partners once we receive the trial date.”

  “What?” The word came out in a small squeak as Wanda choked on her own saliva. She started coughing.

  “Settle down, Ms. Julienne, everything will be all right—as long as you are.”

  “I’m fine,” she finally said. “But I don’t understand.”

  “I have to cut back on my time at the firm for personal reasons. There has been an illness in my family.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you. For this reason, your case will be better off in the hands of someone who has the time to dedicate to it.”

  “Who will be handling my case?”

  “That hasn’t yet been decided. But I will keep you abreast of all developments.”

  Wanda’s heart sank as she hung up the phone.

  ~~~~

  “Wanda! You’re supposed to be in bed! What are you and Nelly doing here?” Galina led them into the living room as Wanda unfastened the baby carrier, extricated herself from it and held a sleeping Nelly over one shoulder.

  “C’mon, let’s set her down in the crib,” Galina said.

  Moments later, they sat on the couch, gazing out at the Eiffel Tower that no longer represented their virtual meeting point. Then Wanda looked down at her unmanicured nails and the hole in the knee of her jeans. She was not a pretty sight.

  “What’s happened?” Galina asked.

  “I was fired.” Her words were barely audible.

  “I’m sorry.” Galina hugged her, rubbing her greasy hair. Wanda was finally crying, snot dripping out of her nose and onto Galina’s designer blouse. But Galina wouldn’t care about stained clothing. She held Wanda close until Wanda had cried all of the tears away and sniffled one last time.

  “You OK?”

  Wanda nodded and settled back against the soft pecan-colored cushions. Then she extricated the letter from her handbag and thrust it toward Galina. At the same time, she explained her lawyer’s situation.

  “It’s a bit much, all at once,” Galina said after she finished reading. “As for work, this is a good thing. Shame on them for firing you after you claimed your rights. From a legal standpoint, it was not a judicious move. It could be that your firing is punishment for suing the company. Of course, that must be proven in a courtroom, but that isn’t an impossible feat.”

  Wanda’s phone rang. She didn’t have to look at it to know who was calling. Max. He’d left messages, and she hadn’t returned them. With one hand, she reached into her bag and silenced the phone.

  “You can go ahead—” Galina said, raising one perfect eyebrow as she looked over the letter at Wanda.

  “No, it’s fine.”

  Galina’s eyes studied her, read her, but Galina didn’t say another word. Wanda squirmed in her seat, then rose to walk to the bay window.

  “Lambert’s team will handle this. Now you’re free of them.” Galina joined her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “It was a matter of time, and I think you understood that.”

  Wanda nodded. Ever since her return, ever since Elodie’s fall, like a terrible omen of what lay ahead, she knew her days at Whilt were numbered. She hadn’t allowed herself to believe it. Wanda had been at Whilt for so many years, had felt more than comfor
table in her position, knew her clients well enough to ask about their children and grandchildren. And now that part of her life, which often felt like her entire life, had vanished. And that was when the realization hit, crashing down upon her.

  Tears shining in her eyes, she turned to Galina.

  “Work was the center of your life too,” she whispered. “Is this why you walked out?” Galina looked away. Wanda waited, heart pounding. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was paranoid, thinking that every woman who went off on maternity leave would return to chaos in the workplace. But the look in her friend’s eyes told her she wasn’t crazy at all.

  “To preclude any problems, I decided to take a few years off,” Galina said. “I know how it is at the firm. I understand the demands, and I realized I would be setting myself up for defeat—both personally and professionally—if I returned right away.”

  Galina’s words were calm and steady, as always, but Wanda could sense the underlying tension.

  “It wasn’t something you necessarily wanted,” Wanda murmured.

  Galina returned to the couch, poured tea for two and settled back against the cushions. Wanda took a hot cup and sat opposite her friend.

  “Sounds awful, doesn’t it? That I decided to stay home with my baby to avoid upset in my career—”

  “Galina, no, don’t say that.” Wanda reached out to hold her hand. “You’re a wonderful mother!”

  Galina smiled. “And I love Anya and love being a mother. But I have to be honest. Professional concerns were part of the picture when I made the decision to take the time off. If they weren’t, I probably would have gone to part time for a few years instead. But that was not an option. It’s much easier to take a sabbatical and then return as if nothing has changed than wade through those early childhood waters in an environment that isn’t sympathetic. Even at the firm, I’ve seen some rather questionable treatment of women returning from maternity leave.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Wanda asked. But she knew the answer. Wanda was the “problem” friend. Galina was not. Galina’s life flowed as smoothly as a river. And if there were any obstacles, she preferred handling them quietly and on her own rather than asking for help.

  “So this is why you don’t want to go back now. You don’t want to dive right in and end up like me.”

  “I’ve grown used to the situation,” Galina said. “I look at it as a way to spend more time with Anya and preserve my career. And in the end, what’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing,” Wanda said. “Except that you’re not standing up for much of anything. Instead you’re avoiding the problem.” Shocked at the disgust she heard in her own voice, Wanda shook her head. “No. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You made the smart decision.”

  Galina smiled. “Don’t apologize. I’ve scolded myself, using words and a tone pretty much like yours, more times than I can count. I’m not proud of my motivations.”

  “Does Charles know?”

  “No.”

  “Why didn’t you deny it when I brought it up just now?”

  “Because you were insightful enough to figure it out,” Galina said with a sad smile.

  Chapter 31

  They’d opened a bottle of wine and snacked on cheese and crackers, crumbs littering the usually pristine couch. Galina told Wanda about the pressure and hours at the firm, making the lifestyle incompatible with the first years of motherhood. For the first time ever, her eyes were vulnerable and unsure. The dependable, confident and perfect Galina was human. Wanda, who’d always felt so close to her, now realized there had been something superficial about their relationship. This whole part of her friend’s life, and any doubts or concerns of Galina’s, had remained hidden from her. Galina hadn’t shared of herself; instead, she had been there as an emotional and psychological crutch for Wanda. Everything for Wanda.

  Guilt overwhelmed Wanda as she forgot about her own woes and thought of the solitude her friend must have experienced all of these years. Even now, she wouldn’t completely break down. It wasn’t her nature, and Wanda knew that could never be changed. But why was Galina so guarded?

  Wanda took a gulp of wine even though her head was already spinning from too much of it. Galina refilled both of their glasses and handed Wanda a slice of brie on a hearty cracker “to mop up the alcohol,” she said with a smile.

  “Galina, why don’t you break down like a blubbering fool, like me?” Her speech was slurred, but she didn’t care. The question was out, and she wanted an answer. “Why do you hold back?”

  Galina took another sip of the wine she managed to hold much better than her friend. She settled back against the cushions, gazed out the window, far beyond Paris, and then turned grave, luminous eyes to Wanda.

  “How can I complain when I’ve always had it so good?” Wanda knew about her upbringing in the lap of luxury, but she didn’t know the context.

  “My real mother didn’t willingly give me up,” Galina continued. “She was forced to. I discovered the truth, some letters, when I was sixteen. And by then, my birth mother had passed away, a victim of disease that spread through her small village. This was an ugly, dark secret that weighed on my parents—the people who had raised me. I confronted my father, and he collapsed in tears and told me the whole story. He was elderly by then, as was my mother. I loved them, and they had been desperate to have me. How could I have cast them aside at that point? I did, for a few weeks… I gathered up some belongings and ran away, to the nearest five-star hotel.” She smirked and shook her head. “I’d become one of them, Wanda. I’m a fighter in the corporate world, in the world of luxury. I could have bought myself a plane ticket and returned to Nigeria to try to find aunts, cousins. But I didn’t. My father tracked me down and when he appeared at the door of my hotel room, I fell into his arms. He told me that he and my mother would support me if I wanted to find this long-lost family. And then I looked up at him, at the golden eyes that were like my own—because, you see, he was my biological father—and I said ‘no.’”

  Wanda’s heart thumped so loudly she felt as if it would pound its way out of her chest. She reached for Galina’s hand and squeezed it.

  “It’s OK,” Galina said. “That happened years ago, and I’m at peace with the decision. You know the charitable works I do in some of the Nigerian villages?” Wanda nodded. “That’s helped me move forward,” Galina continued. “Now, I think of my beginnings any time I might cry or complain, and I think of the new friends I’ve made there, and I realize I don’t have much to gripe about. It’s as simple as that.”

  She shrugged and smiled, the usual confidence slowly but surely returning.

  “You must think I’m such a wimp,” Wanda mumbled, sinking deeper into the cushion and pulling a matching blanket up to her chin.

  “Of course not! Our personal experiences affect the way we handle events in our lives. Period.”

  Wanda thought of her own rather boring middle class upbringing in the two-family house on a tree-lined street. There hadn’t been any exciting family secrets or adventures. She hadn’t been raised to confront corporate giants or unfairness in the workplace. She hadn’t been raised with tools to fight injustice. Wanda had been raised as someone who believed that hard work resulted in appreciation and a decent level of success. Naïve fool, she thought.

  Galina stood up, breaking into Wanda’s reverie, and took her by the hand. “C’mon, I think you’re going to be spending the night in the guest room.”

  Chapter 32

  Two month’s pay and then unemployment benefits. But unemployment would be even more meager than her new salary. Wanda squinted over a spreadsheet of her own finances. There were many columns for expenses—rent, food, electricity, water, baby supplies—and only one with her pitiful revenue. At the end of a month, she would be in the red if she didn’t adjust the costs she could control. She refused to ask her parents for assistance. She was beyond that at her age. Depending on them all over again would feel like defeat, as if she had a
ccomplished nothing. Max had sent a check in the mail with a note begging her to accept it. She hadn’t ripped it up, but she hadn’t cashed it either.

  Why are you refusing his help? she asked herself. As Nelly’s father, it was only fair that he split the costs of raising her. Yet something held Wanda back. Deep inside, she feared it would become a simple business arrangement, an obligation, and somehow, any feelings he had for her would soon disappear. Deliriously, she dreamed he would keep his distance and then return when she was ready, when the situation with Whilt was far behind her.

  Wanda blinked, her eyes now bleary from staring at the computer screen, and walked to the skylight. She pulled it open and stood on a stepstool to look out at the grimy street below and the passersby heading to work or school. If only she was still one of those women in silky skirts and high heels, one of those people with bags digging into their shoulders and telephones at their ears. The noise of the avenue rose to her ears—the honking of horns, the yelling, the laughter—and the scent of diesel filled her nose. Nothing like her old neighborhood where everything was calmer, cleaner. She leaned on her elbows and studied the sight for a while, letting herself be hypnotized by it until the ringing of her phone snapped her back to the present.

  She hopped off the stool and answered before the call went to voicemail.

  It was Maddie. “I know you lost your job. I’m sorry, Wanda. I only found out this morning. And I’m sorry I couldn’t help you earlier, to avoid this.”

  Wanda sighed. “It couldn’t have been avoided. How could I be angry with you when you’re just trying to keep your job too? And it’s none of my business why you want to stay at that place. I was being unreasonable and desperate. And that was ridiculous, because no matter what, they were going to fire me.”