The Creepshow: A Novel Page 12

  “That’s all right. Things haven’t been easy since I returned from maternity leave. It’s as if the whole company changed while I was gone.”

  “You know my views on that, Wanda. The company didn’t change. You did. You now have a baby, a different lifestyle.”

  “You’re right. This sort of thing was happening to others long before me, and I didn’t even notice or care. I’m ashamed of that, the fact that I didn’t care.”

  Maddie shrugged. “You can’t take on the problems of the world, Wanda.”

  “I know, but I wish I’d been more understanding of some of the other women. Like when Kate would refuse our drinks invitations.”

  “Is that what you came here to chat about, Wanda?” Maddie narrowed her eyes. “Somehow, I don’t think so.”

  Wanda hesitated and then opened her mouth to continue even as her heart pounded double time.

  “It has to do with my case. I need some evidence, Maddie. I need someone else to testify about… well, a bunch of things. The way they gave me unrealistic goals for my funds, yet didn’t even punish Thomas for ruining their performance in the first place. The harassment. I’ve tried contacting Kate, but she hasn’t returned my calls.”

  “Those are private matters between you and management, Wanda. You’ll never get someone to speak on your behalf. Even though Kate had a similar problem, who knows what strategy she and her lawyer are using? Her lawyer might have advised her not to talk with anyone.”

  Wanda’s heart sank as Maddie’s words echoed all of the fears that had run through her mind.

  “In the Whilt environment, you can be sure it’s almost impossible to gather witnesses. Everyone around here looks after themselves.”

  “Including you?” The words flew out of Wanda’s mouth before she could stop them. She hadn’t wanted to ask Maddie that question, hadn’t wanted to face the fact that even she would turn her back and leave Wanda to face the sharks on her own.

  “I’m sorry, Wanda.” She dropped her gaze and shook her head. “I would, but I have to think of my position.”

  “Why do you want to hang onto this job so much, Maddie?” Wanda snapped, anger managing to mask the hurt. “You aren’t desperate for money like I am! You aren’t being forced to move to a broom closet with your baby because they unjustly cut your salary.”

  Her words hung in the air, like a banner separating the two women.

  “Wanda,” Maddie whispered. But Wanda wasn’t in the mood to listen. She hurried from the room before the tears could fall.

  Chapter 27

  Wanda walked through her empty apartment. Xavier and his friends had loaded up a truck with boxes and were on their way to the new place. Wanda would drop the keys off at the rental agency and then take the subway over. She lingered in Nelly’s room, remembering the day she first set the baby in her crib. Wanda could still hear Brahms’ Lullaby as the pink mobile with yellow stars danced over the baby’s head.

  She gazed out the window at the naked plane trees that had been so lush on that summer day. She couldn’t have imagined then that less than a year later her life would be in such turmoil. She couldn’t have imagined that Galina would be babysitting not because Wanda was at work or running errands—but because Wanda was moving.

  She went through the rooms one by one, as flashes of memory assaulted her, their warmth chilling her bones. The bedroom she had first split with Galina during those early days in Paris, then shared with Max on so many warm summer nights. That spot in the living room, in a beanbag chair near the fireplace, where she would curl up with a good book, back in the days when she had time for leisure reading.

  But what brought her to tears was the bay window overlooking the city. Not for the Eiffel Tower view, but for the connection with Galina, the feeling that she could wave, and her best friend would be there, on the other side of the tower, waving back. It was as if, by walking out the door for the last time, she was cutting the tie. She cried for a while, then glanced at her watch and dried her eyes. She couldn’t stay here all day, pathetic and miserable, while Xavier unloaded her boxes across town. She went through a package of tissues, then took enough deep breaths to restore some sense of calm, even if only temporarily.

  Wanda’s effort worked just long enough to complete the task. She held onto her tears as she ran down the stairs, hurried along the street and dropped her keys at the rental agency. Then she stepped back onto the sidewalk, put on her sunglasses on a sunless day, and let them flow.

  ~~~~

  “It’s kind of cute,” Rita said as Wanda crossed the threshold. Rita had her curly hair piled up on top of her head and was wearing a pair of ripped jeans and one of Xavier’s old shirts. She had been sliding boxes into one corner of the apartment, freeing up space for the men to assemble the beds and dresser drawers. Thankfully, Wanda didn’t have much furniture. Her old apartment had always looked a bit sparse; this one would look full.

  “You don’t have to do all this,” Wanda said as she kissed Rita on both cheeks. “I didn’t realize you would be here too, especially since you’re just in Paris for a few days.”

  “Are you kidding? Wanda, we know what you’re going through at Whilt. We can’t do much for you other than this, after the settlement. So we’ll do what we can.”

  Xavier came over and patted her on the back, congratulating her for not owning as many heavy decorative objects as Rita. Rita took a swipe at him as he darted off, and Wanda grinned. She knew they were trying their hardest to lighten up the situation, and she appreciated it. They had seen her red, swollen eyelids when she’d taken off her sunglasses.

  She gazed at the room from end to end. An alcove in one corner for their beds, a bathroom tucked into another corner and the rest one room with an open kitchen. Windows overhead let in streams of light even on a dark day.

  “It’s so bright,” Rita said, as if reading her mind. “You know, it’s difficult to find an apartment that looks this cheerful even in early February.”

  But it was cramped. Enough room for Nelly to crawl and learn to walk, but beyond that… No, Wanda couldn’t think beyond that, couldn’t imagine they would spend that long in such a tiny place on such a noisy street.

  “Bright, but meant for one person, not two,” she said.

  “If things get uncomfortable, come stay with us for the weekend, OK?”

  Rita and Xavier were moving to a farmhouse in the Loire Valley. With plenty of bedrooms and a vast expanse of greenery beyond, the offer was tempting. But it wasn’t a solution by any means.

  “Maybe a visit will do us good at some point, thanks,” Wanda said, sinking onto the couch that her friends had just placed behind her. “But we have to find our way out of this situation permanently.”

  “You realize that means you’ll have to leave Whilt?”

  “It’ll happen—one way or another.” She had told Rita and Xavier of her plan to sue the company. “The problem is the job market. It’s so bad. That’s why I’ve stayed with Whilt all this time. What other options are there?”

  “Moving entirely? Have you thought of going back to the U.S.?”

  Max. That was her first thought, and she felt an embarrassing blush rise into her cheeks. She was driving him away, yet she refused to leave Paris because of him. And it wasn’t because she was thinking of his visits with Nelly. Plenty of divorced parents lived on separate continents and sent the children back and forth for vacations. No, she was thinking she couldn’t imagine her life without Max. Yet every time he got too close, she pushed him away. What’s wrong with you?

  “Wanda?”

  “Yeah, sorry. No, I don’t want to leave. Not now. Plus, the economy there is suffering too.”

  Rita slumped onto the couch next to her. “It’s not a pretty picture, is it? Being at the mercy of a merciless company. One minute you’re doing well, treated properly and paid properly, and then the next, you’re in a downward spiral.”

  “You sound as if you know what you’re talking about.”

>   Rita smirked. “I’ve seen it happen a lot—”

  “OK, you two, we’ve finished our part of the job,” Xavier interrupted.

  “Don’t worry about anything else,” Wanda said quickly as she jumped to her feet. “Everyone, go home and enjoy the rest of the day. I can handle things from here.”

  Chapter 28

  Louis called her into his office bright and early, which for him was about eleven a.m. Her heart had taken to racing every time a message from Louis or the human resources department appeared in her inbox. A Pavlovian response. Every bit of communication since her return from maternity leave had been negative in one way or another.

  Wanda adjusted her silk blouse over her gray trousers so she didn’t look quite so rumpled after several hours behind her desk. She smoothed back her hair and glanced at her reflection in the mirrored elevator. She had lost weight and turned pale, and now sported dark circles under her eyes that no amount of concealer could cover. She sighed and looked away, preferring the view of her feet in black patent leather.

  Wanda marched into Louis’ office, startling him even though he should have been expecting her.

  “This shouldn’t be a surprise,” she said, taking a seat.

  He walked around the desk and sat in the chair next to hers.

  “I didn’t expect you to be prompt, Wanda. Deadlines haven’t been your thing lately.”

  She ignored his comment. “You wanted to see me about something?”

  “You haven’t filled out your financial disclosure paperwork. See what I meant about deadlines?”

  “I’ve decided not to fill it out.”

  “Well how do you expect management to get the information, babe? By osmosis?”

  “Hopefully not. Because my personal financial information isn’t Whilt’s business.”

  “Hmm, another one of your decisions?” He shot her a patronizing look, his cool blue eyes icier than ever. “It doesn’t work that way around here. You should understand that, Wanda. How can you expect to remain part of Whilt if you’re constantly fighting the system?”

  “Is that a threat, Louis?” she asked, her heart pounding a mile a minute. She hoped the heat in her face hadn’t turned into a blush of embarrassment.

  “A simple observation and maybe a bit of advice too.” He shrugged. “You can’t say no to Whilt. Things are the way they are around here and won’t change. The company has a good reason for asking what it does of its employees.”

  “OK, then, what is it? Why should I declare, for instance, how much money my parents have put in a college fund for my child?”

  “Only Whilt can say. You can send a message to HR with your question.”

  “This is a violation of privacy. Whilt can’t gain complete, unfettered access to every aspect of my life.”

  “Then be prepared for the consequences. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Another shrug and he stood up, returning to his side of the desk.

  ~~~~

  Wanda arrived home at the new apartment no earlier than seven-thirty every night, and that was only if she managed to leave the office at six-thirty on the dot. So some nights, eight o’clock was more likely. If this was all about her, she wouldn’t have cared. But for Nelly, the new schedule was rough. On most evenings, she wailed the whole subway ride, eagerly slurped down her bottle at home, fussed in the bathtub and finally fell into a deep but often agitated sleep. By about nine o’clock, Wanda was able to curl up on the couch with her laptop and a bowl of takeout noodles.

  On this particular evening, her second week in the apartment, a soft knocking on the door interrupted her as she sat down. She tiptoed across the room and released the latch. She drew in a deep breath when she saw Max.

  “How did you know—?”

  “Galina gave me your address,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind.” Her eyes locked with his, unable and unwilling to escape.

  He held out a bouquet of pink roses. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I just got off work, or I would have come by earlier.”

  “Max, I… Thank you.” The apartment was drafty, but all of a sudden she felt as if her body temperature had surged well over a hundred degrees.

  “Should I stay out here in the hallway?” he asked with the half grin that made her heart flip flop.

  “No. Sorry. Come in. I didn’t even realize today was a holiday. Life has been kind of crazy.”

  “You mean you haven’t noticed the red hearts in every window display?” he asked.

  “My eyes are usually directed at the sidewalk.”

  Wanda took his coat, inhaling the scent of him as she tossed it over a hook on the back of the door. Max glanced around at the array of half unpacked boxes, then quickly found Nelly’s crib. He knelt at its side, smiling, while Wanda grabbed her only vase off a shelf, filled it with water and arranged the flowers.

  She shouldn’t have let him in. He would break her down, and this was the first step. But was she that weak? She could handle a few platonic encounters, couldn’t she? Wanda couldn’t keep Max out of Nelly’s life forever. And she didn’t want to.

  Max joined her on the couch, and she lifted up her plate and handed him a fork.

  “If you haven’t eaten yet?”

  He smiled. “I should have thought of that. How about if I call for something? There’s that pizza place downstairs. I know it’s not the most elegant Valentine’s dinner—”

  “It doesn’t have to be. Remember, we don’t have a reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day.” She tried to convince herself as much as she tried to convince him.

  An hour later, they were sharing a pizza, and an hour after that, they were in Wanda’s bed.

  Chapter 29

  A dull routine set in, carrying Wanda from February to mid-March. The wakeup routine, long subway rides, dropping off Nelly, work, retrieving Nelly, another subway ride, home, sleep. The monotony was punctuated by a few evenings with Galina, but she kept them as infrequent as possible. She was exhausted physically and mentally. She avoided Max altogether. She left him a message saying their night together had been a mistake, and she apologized for her own weakness, for letting raw emotions drive her at a time when so much turmoil cluttered her mind.

  “I didn’t mean to manipulate you,” she’d said into the phone. “You’re better off without me and all of my baggage.”

  Lambert filed suit against Whilt on Wanda’s behalf, and the case was officially out of her hands. Work continued, and Wanda looked for any excuse to meet with clients outside of the office or attend conferences that would take her far from Louis’ leering eye or messages from the human resources department, insisting she reveal her finances and accept the Asian funds.

  As Wanda read the latest email, she muttered to herself, Maybe I should just do it. Maybe I should do anything they want.

  The only thing holding her back from revealing her finances was shame. Shame that after all of these years at Whilt, she was two paychecks away from homelessness. Wanda had very little to her name, and she didn’t exactly want Whilt upper management to know just how badly she needed her job.

  That was probably Whilt’s motive with this new rule: to see how many high salary earners were close to poverty if Whilt booted them out the door. That would give the company plenty of leverage.

  Wanda realized she probably wasn’t the only one. A lot of her colleagues lived up to and well beyond their means. Or perhaps the company realized the high earners would rather leave than drop to their knees before Big Brother. An easy way to streamline the budget. But this was all supposition, and Wanda didn’t care about Whilt’s motives. She just knew that she wouldn’t bend—no matter what. If the company did fire her, she would receive meager unemployment benefits, but she and Nelly would manage.

  Wanda ran into Max in front of her building the first evening she shed her heavy winter coat for a lightweight beige trench. Spring was in the air. Max had come to her door several times before, but she hadn’t answered. Now, he faced her with sadness
in his eyes, a sadness that had been clearly growing for weeks. Guilt and shame consumed her, but she refused to lower the wall of defense she had erected to protect herself from more pain.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  She nodded. He helped her up the stairs with Nelly and held the baby while Wanda took off her shoes and prepared a bottle. She heard him whispering and singing to Nelly, then heard the baby’s laugh, and tears sprang into her eyes. All of this was Whilt’s fault. If she wasn’t going through this, she would be able to live a normal life and focus on relationships rather than court cases and harassment.

  She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, took a deep, calming breath, and turned back to father and daughter.

  “You OK?” Max asked.

  “Allergies,” she replied. “Everything is in bloom, or almost.”

  Wanda set the bottle back on the counter. Nelly was dozing in Max’s arms.

  “Here, let’s get her settled in the lounger,” Wanda said. “I can wake her in a half hour for her milk if she doesn’t wake up earlier.”

  “Must have had a tiring day with the nanny and friends,” Max said as he gently lowered her into the sling. Wanda strapped her in, and then she and Max stood up.

  “So what did you want to see me about?” She sounded frightened, yet another attempt at nonchalance failed.

  “To give you this.” Max held out a check for enough money to cover a month’s rent.

  She knitted her eyebrows. “What’s this for?”

  “Nelly is my daughter, Wanda. I should be contributing.” His eyes brightened; he was obviously pleased with this initiative.

  “No, there’s no reason for that. There’s no reason to feel sorry for us or—” Her heartbeat quickened as a rush of emotions collided within. Happiness that Max cared and recognized his responsibility but sorrow about what this might confirm: Perhaps this was all about fulfilling a duty and nothing more. Is this pity? Is it because we look desperate?

  “This isn’t about feeling sorry for you.” His voice was firm. “I went to the city hall this morning and declared paternity. I’m now required to offer you financial support, and I want to. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have made this official.”